Funny Joke

This is more of an academic/field superiority joke, but here goes:

"Two scientists, a diagnostic microbiologist and a molecular biologist
specializing in yeast genetics, are on a plane taken over by terrorists. The
terrorists tell them that to make their point, they will have to kill one of
them and toss the body out of the plane before making any demands or dealing
with the authorities. They tell the two men that they will have 10 minutes to
convince the terrorists that they _other_ man should be shot, as the speaker
is more important, and mankind would suffer if he were shot."

"The microbiologist stands up and speaks for 10 minutes, talking about
bacteriology, and parasitology, and virology. He tells the terrorists that
he is vital to the medical field, as he supplies clinical data that is sorely
needed to make decisions on patient care. His ten minutes pass quickly, and
the terrorists listen quietly, nodding to themselves."

"The geneticist stands and says "I would like to take a few minutes to discuss
with you the power of yeast genetics —", at which point the microbiologist
jumps up and yells "Shoot me now! Shoot me now!"

taking from Craig Myers
Hoa Le

Cats v.s. Bugs
[1. A numbers game: To get more cats (why you would want them is another
question), you need at least two of the opposite sex. With bacteria, one
will set you up for life.

2. Sleepless nights: Unlike cats, bacteria do not go into heat and will
keep you awake all night crying for a little fun.

3. Low maintenance: There is no litter box to change and bacteria can be
easily fed by adding more sugar to their medium.

4. Vacation consideration: Bacteria do not require a neighbour's attention
while you're away. Just put them in the fridge and they'll stay fresh.
This can also be done with cats but is heavily frowned upon.

5. Life in a vacuum: While bacteria are also covered with hair (cilia),
but on a microscopic level, they do not feel the need to leave said hairs
all over the place.

6. Exercise your rights: You do not need to put your bacteria out for
exercise. Simply put them in a large flask and shake them for a few
hours. They are also easier to round up by using the centrifuge.

7. Death before dishonour: Bacteria will not bring dead animals into your
house, displaying them proudly at dinner. At worst a renegade bacterium
will keep you in the bathroom for a few days.

8. Scratching the surface: Washing a bacterial pellet does not require a
knowledge of the martial arts and will not leave you with scar tissue.

9. I can see clearly now: It is rare when you cannot see the TV screen
because of a bacterium sleeping on top, dangling its legs. If this is a
problem, it typically implies that you should spend a little more on your
next TV set.

10. Feeling a little flushed: A bacterium is less likely to clog your
toilet when it dies, causing a $500 plumbing bill.]

From Aliquotes Volume V Number vii July/97 (rogerb#NoSpam.microsoft.com)
Hoa Le

I thought this was a funny joke since we talked about replicating today!!!!!
li314.jpg

comic about bacteria sex life
2649642396_792c3f497c_o.png
-Melissa Whiteley

another comic!
3048048076_7817cec6c4_o.png
-Melissa Whiteley

and yet, another comic
comic_ddd_09292005_116.JPG
-Melissa Whiteley

Heres a funny.COrny yes but it made me laugh: “I’ve been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up with congenial TACGTAC.”
- Briana

Those are some funny things lol
-Brice Buryanek

haha nice work guys! these are kinda creative :)
-KP

nice those are hillarious!! i really like the plasmid one!! :) very nice melB!
-Becky

This last one looks like chad in his younger years but, probably bigger hair.

the comics are hilarious
-chrissy s.

HAHAHAHAHA these are really funny! especially the comics!

that last one was good lol
scott

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